So, I've come to realize that I'm a picky bitch when it comes to my Supernatural stories. I don't mean to be, but I am much more rigid in how I see Sam and Dean - or any of the characters from the show - than I am with Jensen and Jared.

I assume that is because while we have a glimpse of their personalities from interviews and conventions, we really don't know *them*. We don't know their heartaches or their true fears or what really makes them giddy with anticipation or how they sleep at night. I guess it is just easier to let the author paint the picture of who the guys are and so long as they follow close to what little we know, it works really well. Or with as with an AU, they can be very different with a decent back story to support it.

But for Sam and Dean - one of the reasons I love the show so much is that we *know* these characters. We know how shitty they grew up, we know what Dean's insecurities are and what deep repression Sam stays in. We know Sam sleeps like some kind of cyborg freak on straight on his back most of the time and that a relaxed Dean roles onto his tummy (managing to look adorable cute and sexy at the same time).

I guess when I read a story it won't work for me if it does not fit within the defined persona set by canon - even if it is AU. With Jensen and Jared's "canon", if you will, it is so small and riddled with holes it is much easier to fill it up as a writer sees fit, but Sam and Dean have a defined nature. At least, in my mind.

So why am I rambling on and on about this crap? Because I'm a dork? Well...ok, yeah, I am. But also because I needed to reason it out in my head - I love Supernatural fic more than RPS fic, actually. But I have posted a LOT more about J2 than Sam/Dean. And...I needed to let myself say that for some reason? What-the-fuck-ever..anyway, here a few Sam/Dean shorts I've read recently and enjoyed.

Love, Peachus

Some Wishes Are Worth Waiting For by runedgirl
SPN, NC-17
Sam and Dean deal with a spirit terrorizing a family just before Christmas, and the family invite them to spend Christmas with them. How do they deal with a full on Christmas with all the trimmings? Beautiful and hot. I thought this was going to be a case-fic, or at least it started out that way. But it isn't. Its about Sam and Dean and missing having someone and finding each other again. And the image of Dean curled over Sam on his knees? Gorgeously sexy.
~short-ish

Eleison by setissma
SPN, PG-13
He wanted to say something. Very short, but touching. There is one line - what Sam says at the very end that really made this for me. In fact, I think it is the driving core of all of Season 4.
~short


Your Latest Barrier Smacked Upside of the Head by hateable
SPN, NC-17
In which Dean gets turned into a girl, permanently, but Sam is still woman enough for the both of them. So the sex is *really* het, but still good because underneath it all Dean is, as Sam sees over and over again, still very much Dean. Nice little genderfuck for your afternoon's enjoyment.
~short-ish

Here's to a Happy Ending by verbalavalanche
J2 AU, NC-17
Graduation day. You get to hear all kinds of shit being passed around in the crowd.
Because I can't resist highschool AU fic and schmoopy hot sex is what fanfic is all about...
~ short-ish


In Restless Dreams I Walked Alone by roque_clasique
SPN, Gen, PG
Dean's mouth, and what it can't do. Just a little insight into Dean's character. This could easily be canon. It fits and it *feels* like it. Angsty and painful, a slightly broken Dean may just be the most hauntingly beautiful thing ever. Stories like this certainly make it seem that way.
~ short-ish

So here is the deal, there was a recent post on spnstoryfinders asking for hurt Dean or something like that. Anyway, the topic interests me and there were a ton of links. I'm going through them. Some are really good. I'm still working through so there may be more to come.


We Belong Together by not_refined
SPN AU, PG-13
Wincest AU. Sam and Dean, growing up and growing closer together in the ordinary world. I'm not sure how I missed posting about this when I read it almost a year ago. But when I stumbled across it again I found it tore me up just as much the second time around. Hauntingly beautiful. Dean being fragile like this makes my heart clinch. I love how wonderful John is to both the boys in this. Anyway, I'm sure most people have read it as not_refined is well known for some really amazing stories. Like the Still Life 'verse. The damage done to Dean only makes him more beautiful. The innocence and struggle of life that make up the fabric of Dean and Sam's life in that story is breathtaking. These two stories just really touch something deep in me.


Nothing Dark by evening_spirit
J2 AU, NC-17
Jared thinks his life sucks (even if he denies feeling bad about). He starts college, which he didn't want and he swears he will not make friends there. But then he meets another student, a boy with emerald eyes, who draws and draws, and draws . . . Jensen is an amazing artist, he's mysteriously shy, and Jared finds himself fascinated to the point of obsession. Can anyone explain to me why stories like this are so immensely intriguing to me? I mean, yes, the writing is good and I like the characters and all that, but why is young, confused Jared and a 'damaged' Jensen so mesmerizing? (And I mean that in terms of 'damaged!Jensen', not as in someone with his disability being damaged, k?) Is it the childlike innocence that somehow can merge and weave seamlessly with mature, adult actions? I honestly don't know why, but stories like this always snag my attention. When they are written well then its a win-win for me - this was, btw, a win-win.


Of Black Dogs and ASL by smokeyhorse
SPN AU, PG, Gen
A miscommunication results in a hurt 10-year-old Dean and a heart-to-heart between Sam and John. AU - deaf!Dean. Schmoop! This is a short little thing, but it is absolutely touching and darling. Little Sam was adorably cute, Dean is more of a concept - and him being deaf is just plain interesting to me, and John is very John, but maybe he'll get a clue in this world. Anyway, I really really wish this were a larger 'verse. The author did the characters great and I love the emotion of the story.


Sleepless Night by prepare4trouble
SPN, PG, Gen
After being injured on a hunt, Dean tries to carry on as normal. Man, I think I might have actually sniffled on the last line. Poor Dean. My only complaint is that it is too short. I just got into it!

Both of these stories make me wish for things that probably won't ever be...


Natural Progression
by destina
J2, PG
Something where Jensen says he's moving out. We've all heard that Jensen is planning to move out this year. I'd rather this happen instead. It won't, *sigh*. (But, dude, it could! *grins*)
Also, *blush*, I kinda want to see more of Icarus in fics.


He, Who Clothed With Transcendent Brightness Didst Outshine Myriads Though Bright by larienelengasse
SPN, NC-17
We have to fall to know grace and to be reborn. Dean is tormented by both lost happiness and the prospect of enduring suffering. But neither adamantine chains nor penal fire, nor Satan's grasp can keep him from what he loves most, and that's Sam. Although less than 10,000 words, to me this feels like a longer fic. Like a long fic, actually. The author leaves a note saying this will never happen in canon. And yes, that's true, but I think that it should. Its very much the essence of Dean & Sam. Its atmospheric, with vivid imagery. Dean's love for Sam breaks my heart, it really does, and this story captures that feeling beautifully. And I don't know why, but Sam's ...reasoning? understanding? of his desire for Dean - it gets me. You know, right *there*? Its not romantic, not a sudden discovery of suppressed desire for his sibling. I ...well, I don't want to give more away, but when you read the moment - the moment Sam figures it out? What goes in his mind really got to me -it was almost erotic in its complete lack of being actually sexy, but based in love and loyalty.

uh..and if you don't read it none of this will make mean anything (so you should read it!), so I'll stop rambling.

The Kindness of Strangers by avon_09 is a J2 AU remix of chase_acow's Five Ways Jensen Met Jared At the Mall During the Holiday Season which I really liked. The remix is just as lovely and sweet and so amazing for finding a way to weave all those great 'what ifs' together into a beautiful story.

Ashes of the Moon by corby
J2 AU, NC-17
Jared Padalecki, an inexperienced and uncertain young man, is sent to Kibilisa, Africa, to work for his church. Less than a month later the country is torn apart by civil war. Alone in charge of a group of children, he despairs of surviving – until he meets a mysterious man named Jensen Ackles who seems to know the country and the language. Their journey together will bring them terror, pain, horror and the deepest grief; but also friendship, self-sacrifice, love and redemption.
You know I kept reading all the recs for this fic - there were a lot of them. But for some reason I just didn't click. I don't know why. I knew it had to be a decent fic because everyone raved about it. And then I decided what they hell, I'll read a little and see if I even like it. That was several hours ago. I was wrong. It isn't a decent fic. It isn't a really good fanfic.
Its an amazing story, an incredible story of two men and the triumph of the human spirit. Its the kind of story they make movies about. Its the kind of overwhelmingly beautiful journey that leaves you with a longing for something greater in life, something deeper and more meaningful. I've read a couple of fics set in Africa now, and when done right they never fail to capture your heart and soul. This one does it exceptionally well.



The Disconnect by a_carnal_mink
SPN, NC-17
There were probably a million things not right about this relationship and maybe only a couple that weren't entirely wrong, but Dean felt like they just might be able to make it. I'm not sure why this isn't touted as one of the classics in SPN fandom. It's a fucking fantastic story. Set in season 2, it has spot-on amazingly perfect characterizations and literally *feels* like the real thing. While being Wincest it flows perfectly and seamlessly into canon. Its gorgeous and beautiful and it will totally make you fall in love with Sam and Dean Winchester all over again. It has the things that make a Wincest story 'real' and amazing; a slow, very natural progression of the boys' relationship while managing an impressive balance between being lovers and being brothers. Just so you know, I won't say it has a sad ending but I will say that every part of of it holds up to canon and in the style of Kripke's Supernatural.

I just re-read the Every Broken Thing/Heart 'Verse by poisontaster (and sometimes mona1347)
*whimper*
Its all so achingly beautiful. I feel like I've been torn into a million pieces and then glued back together. *sigh* Yeah, that's such a fic line, but gah - it so fits. This 'verse is .. chaotically, brokenly beautiful. Bittersweet in every way. The love - pure, deep, always - between Sam and Dean is tangible, touchable thing. Its what we all look for in life. And after all the hell they go through, from outside forces but also the hell they put each other through (especially in the early years), and yet years later they are still certain that it (*this*, them) is worth it. Each touch, each smile important and real. Gah - I'm gonna stop now.

Its an emotionally overwhelming fic. I'm gonna go find some light schmoop to recover. If I get stuck too long in the epic story of these two amazing characters as written in this fic I'll be melancholy all night. (Don't look at me that way. I'm telling you dude, its fucking deep.)


Oh, and did I mention? It also has Hot Sex. *winks*

The Normal Verse by felisblanco
See, I *told* you this gal rocks. I moved on to the Dean&Sam. And...okay, so I read everything and its all good. But I wanted to share The Normal Verse the most. There are three parts. The first part is awesome, with nekked boys and hot sex. But the third part? k - here is what I posted on the comments:
. This? This, though, O.M.G. I can't cry - I'm too sadddd. It's all so bittersweet. *whimpers* Dean? Oh, Dean you beautiful broken man. You grew up too fast and too hard and I just wanna hug you forever. And possibly beat John over the head with a shovel.
And ya' know I can't figure out what got me more - the fact that Dean makes it okay in his head that he does this if he needs to, which is just painful and gripping, or that he does it all for Sam - that he loves someone so much that it isn't even a question to him. Gah, Sam do you even realize what it is to matter so much to a person? Hold on tight, boy.